If your name is Ben Opsahl, this web page is for you.
There are only about eight of us, but that's a damn good number. One of you has an Oregon Ducks image as your profile photo. I messaged you about six years ago asking if you'd politely take it down. You have rudely left it up ever since. I'm starting to think you're dead - or at least wish for that. Now, I'm not really the type to tell my own blood (ok, I know that's not really how names work) to eat shit and fuck off, but if you're gonna be Ben Opsahl in this world, you gotta play the game right. You gotta be like me - or maybe you can stay like yourself, but you at least gotta let me know so I can be like you. We're Oregon Duck fans now? Cool, we're Oregon Duck fans now. See? I'm easy. Just keep me in the loop. I don't want to be the only Oregon Ben Opsahl who cares for the Beavers.
Ben Opsahl or Benjamin Opsahl?
Life in Amsterdam sure is fun
Anyway, here I am in Amsterdam, playing with SEO and other shit. If you're also Ben Opsahl and you see this page, chill. First off, I'm definitely spamming to secure my "brand" name, but we can share. If you're the real estate Benjamin Opsahl, hit me up. We can spill link juice all over each other. Figuratively, of course. Unless you can come to Amsterdam. Then we'll just have to find a way to materialize PageRank.